Dating violence is defined as a threat or act of violence against one member of a dating relationship by the other member of the dating relationship. This includes acts of sexual violence, physical abuse, as well as verbal and/or emotional abuse.
Parent, teachers, and anyone who works around teenagers need to be aware of the signs of dating violence. Signs of abuse can include, but are not limited to:
- physical abuse (hitting, pushing, kicking, etc.);
- sexual abuse (forced sexual acts or intercourse, refusing to use contraception);
- emotional/verbal abuse (threatening violence, breaking things, name-calling, put-downs).
According to the Centers for Disease Control, 1 in 4 eighth and ninth grade students will be victims of violence at the hands of a dating partner. And as many as 1 in 12 eighth and ninth grade students are victims of sexual violence that is perpetrated by a dating partner.
Dating violence affects teens from all walks of life; it happens to teenagers of both genders, all socioeconomic levels, all geographic regions, and all ethnic groups. The effects of a violent relationship can be devastating. The teen may suffer from low self-esteem, become involved with alcohol and drugs, as well as engage in risky sexual behaviors that may lead to sexually transmitted diseases and/or unplanned pregnancies.
Many people often wonder what keeps a teenager in a violent relationship. One reason that a teenager might stay in an abusive relationship is because she or he may confuse jealousy and possessiveness with love. Teen victims often think that any attention is better than no attention at all. Teens need to understand that conflict in relationships is OK. Violence is never OK.
Another reason teenagers may stay in a violent relationship is that the victim is afraid the abuser will hurt or kill her or him if they attempt to leave the relationship or seek help. A victim may attempt to seek help from a parent or a teacher who might not take the teenager seriously due to her or his young age. This can be devastating to a young person who is looking for support or guidance. In many cases the abuser has told the victim that no one will believe her or him or be able to help.
If you know of a teenager who is being abused, there are several things that you can do to help:
- Be supportive, listen, and believe her or his story.
- Determine whether the victim is in need of medical attention.
- Help the teen decide what is the best course of action for her or his individual situation.
OASIS or your local domestic violence agency can help educate the victim about her or his options. The most important thing to remember is the abuse is never the victim’s fault. Teenage survivors need the support of their friends, family, teachers, and the entire community.
